Saturday, 8 November 2008

The Working Diagnosis

About a month ago, I was (almost) diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It wasn't an official diagnosis, I have to go see some kind of specialist for that. I guess it has been a slow onset. Thinking back I can remember times whilst at university experiencing similar pains as I have now, just with less severity. Its been so good to get a diagnosis, especially as it explains a lot of the other 'ailments' I've been suffering with over the past 4 years. It makes me feel a little less crazy!

The only thing with fibromyalgia is that it is considered, by the medical profession, to be "uncurable". I'm really struggling with that label hanging over my head. Knowing that when the doctors look at me, they say to me "you'll just have to deal with this the best you can for the rest of your life.....". I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that. Why? Because I believe in a loving and powerful God. The Bible says, he forgives all our sins and heals ALL our diseases. (Psalm 103:3) That includes fibromyalgia. God created me, and knows every intricate part of how my body works.

I can't imagine how it must feel to have this illness and not to have the hope of Christ, and the hope of healing. In fact, imagine going through any difficulty in life and not having that hope?! Wow. I guess I've never really thought about it that clearly before. Imagine going into the current economical climate thinking "I could lose my house, or my job!". Imagine not having the mindset of "God has a plan and a purpose for me".

I need to remind myself every day that God sees me. He sees my pain, and how I have to try and cope with this. But it does make me wonder...for what purpose? I'm looking forward to being able to look back on these years and think to myself, aha! That is why I went through all of it. Don't you just wish you could zoom out and see the bigger picture? Maybe then life would lose its sense of adventure.

For now, I continue to pray for healing. And I'm trying to learn to just have faith in my God. Even though it's difficult, it is better to have hope than to have none at all.

2 comments:

A Wanderer's Heart 9 November 2008 at 02:47  

I will be praying with you. :)

Miss Marie 11 November 2008 at 21:35  

I'm sorry to hear that. In the mean time, the Crazy Sexy Life group on NING would be a huge support group. You can click on my button on my blog to be taken there. It's really an amazing place for support and sharing of ideas about diseases/food/diet/and health.

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