I haven't blogged for a while. That's just the way life goes. Sometimes you have your moments, other times you just...don't. So recently hasn't really been my moment. I think the rest of life kind of got in the way, and I don't mind that at all.
Christmas and New Year were fun. They disappeared into a blur of spending time with our two families and have now faded into mere memories. Good ones. My darling husband bought me a microphone stand, so I will be doing some singing soon I hope!
For the past two days I have been in and out of hospital. First was an appointment to see the rheumatologist. Second was a bone profile scan with a bit of radioactive injection and a lot of laying still. 30 mins of being scanned whilst you have to lay completely still gives you some time to think about some things! Tomorrow I will be going back for a bone density scan. I'm seeing one of the top rheumatologists in the country, so I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere.
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Well, the above feels like a bit of just a boring update. Including a partial apology for not blogging, which is ridiculous as this is MY blog (so there!!) - I was just reading Megan's blog and she was talking about how blogging has turned into some kind of...I don't know what word to give it. So i'm just going to quote her instead, i'm sure she won't mind...
Why do people blog? People don't blog for themselves... that's called journaling. You know, with a pen filling up pages that nobody else reads until you're dead. People blog because they want other people to read what they write and find it interesting and valuable.
It's so true, how a lot of people seek affirmation (that's the word I was looking for!!) from others from what they write. I don't want this blog to be like that. Oh by all means, feel free to comment. It's nice when people are interested in my life. But I do want this blog to be for me, and to feel compelled to write in it, not for affirmation but for release.
At the moment it feels like I'm going into a completely new stage in life. Things are changing, and fairly rapidly. I think back to this time last year, and even two years ago and think wow, how things have changed! Challenges are going to be faced very soon. I'm not sure how I'll cope with them. But what I want to focus on is how to lean on God through all these challenges.
I've been asked to sing at my friend's wedding in October. WOW!! I feel so privileged, even to be asked! They want me as backing vocals for the worship, and then possibly lead vocals for one of the songs, and maybe a song whilst the register is being signed. I'm so nervous about it! But I really want to conquer my fears - the big fear of "what do people think of me?!". I don't want that to hold me back anymore. So yes, I will be singing. ARGH!
Right, I've decided. I want to do a 101 in 1001. (For those of you who don't know, that's 101 goals to meet/things to do in 1001 days...) I'm hoping to think of 101 things, and I shall be using friends lists as inspiration! And looking deep within me to see what I REALLY want in life.