Monday, 9 February 2009

This is my prayer in the desert...

I've been feeling very low today. About both my job and my health. Mostly about my job to be honest, but I wanted to talk about my health.

I've been ill most of the time since I was 12 years old, and so it is inevitable that at 24 years old I'm starting to get a little weary of it. Understatement of the year. I'm desperate to be well again, and sometimes I get a little frustrated at God over the whole thing. I KNOW he can heal me, but I just don't know why he hasn't yet. Maybe I'm to learn something from this whole experience. I think part of it is to learn how to put my trust and get my strength from Him rather than try and find it in myself. Because I certainly don't have it! I was thinking about it in the car on the way home from work whilst listening to "This is Our God" by Hillsong. The following song came on, and it really encouraged me.

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

The line "you hold my world in Your hands" really reminded me that I have nothing to fear in life, and that God will use me and work in me even though my body is suffering. I need to trust Him fully, rather than just half-attempt to trust Him!

Another song on this album, which is my absolute favourite (sung by Brooke Fraser, see Song of the Week a couple of weeks ago!) is "Desert Song".

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

NO weapon formed against me shall remain. Nothing to fear. Isn't that a great thing! I'm so thankful for being brought into the place I am in now, and I really want to grow in Him and learn so much more.


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