Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Time to Think

I haven't blogged for a while. That's just the way life goes. Sometimes you have your moments, other times you just...don't. So recently hasn't really been my moment. I think the rest of life kind of got in the way, and I don't mind that at all.

Christmas and New Year were fun. They disappeared into a blur of spending time with our two families and have now faded into mere memories. Good ones. My darling husband bought me a microphone stand, so I will be doing some singing soon I hope!

For the past two days I have been in and out of hospital. First was an appointment to see the rheumatologist. Second was a bone profile scan with a bit of radioactive injection and a lot of laying still. 30 mins of being scanned whilst you have to lay completely still gives you some time to think about some things! Tomorrow I will be going back for a bone density scan. I'm seeing one of the top rheumatologists in the country, so I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere.

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Well, the above feels like a bit of just a boring update. Including a partial apology for not blogging, which is ridiculous as this is MY blog (so there!!) - I was just reading Megan's blog and she was talking about how blogging has turned into some kind of...I don't know what word to give it. So i'm just going to quote her instead, i'm sure she won't mind...


Why do people blog? People don't blog for themselves... that's called journaling. You know, with a pen filling up pages that nobody else reads until you're dead. People blog because they want other people to read what they write and find it interesting and valuable.


It's so true, how a lot of people seek affirmation (that's the word I was looking for!!) from others from what they write. I don't want this blog to be like that. Oh by all means, feel free to comment. It's nice when people are interested in my life. But I do want this blog to be for me, and to feel compelled to write in it, not for affirmation but for release.

At the moment it feels like I'm going into a completely new stage in life. Things are changing, and fairly rapidly. I think back to this time last year, and even two years ago and think wow, how things have changed! Challenges are going to be faced very soon. I'm not sure how I'll cope with them. But what I want to focus on is how to lean on God through all these challenges.

I've been asked to sing at my friend's wedding in October. WOW!! I feel so privileged, even to be asked! They want me as backing vocals for the worship, and then possibly lead vocals for one of the songs, and maybe a song whilst the register is being signed. I'm so nervous about it! But I really want to conquer my fears - the big fear of "what do people think of me?!". I don't want that to hold me back anymore. So yes, I will be singing. ARGH!

Right, I've decided. I want to do a 101 in 1001. (For those of you who don't know, that's 101 goals to meet/things to do in 1001 days...) I'm hoping to think of 101 things, and I shall be using friends lists as inspiration! And looking deep within me to see what I REALLY want in life.

3 comments:

Miss Marie 15 January 2009 at 01:09  

Aw, congrats about singing for the wedding! :) That is quite an honor! :)
And 101 in 1001s are so fun! I made mine instead of new year's resolutions and I am having so much fun doing them!

And...I blog...because I want an outlet outside of photography. I don't really care if people read it. I like that they do. I also blog to share experiences and hopefully let other people who are going through them feel less alone. I think blogging in a big way is about community.

Jules 15 January 2009 at 08:34  

I'm hoping I can actually think of 101 things!!!

I agree with you about blogging. It is definitely a community thing but some people really censor what and how they write to satisy other people, and i dont think thats quite right.

Miss Marie 16 January 2009 at 17:29  

I think to some level it is. I sensor my personal blog a lot because I also run a business and I do not claim anonymity on my personal blog. I cannot write about things that are too personal or about situations with frustrating clients, with frustrating people, etc on my personal blog because inevitably a client will find it and it will reflect poorly on my business. Sometimes I even wonder if having my personal blog is a good idea but I love the creative escape it gives me so I continue it. I have deleted tons and tons of posts though after deciding they were inappropriate. The great thing about blogging is that you can be who you want, I want to be the creative, positive, happy, friendly side of myself so that is who I portray on it. Other people portray the dark, scandalous sides, or the witty, sarcastic sides. And you find community based on that.

Thinking of 101 things took me over a week. It was so hard. But I was being picky because I only wanted things on there that I actually really wanted to do. And I'm glad because I've been having a lot of fun checking things off of it since I"m excited about them all! :) Good luck! Can't wait to see what you come up with!

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